Anonymous

One time there was this guy Jesus from Nazareth and when He was born, His Mom had to travel by donkey for days looking for an inn, but they were all full, so this one innkeeper let them stay in a manger, and He was born there. Then, three wise men came and gave him all these gifts, and these shepards showed up and everything. Then, when He was twelve He hid at a temple and His parents couldn’t find Him for days and then when they finally did, He was all like “didn’t you know I’d be at my Father’s house” and they were probably like -___- “touché…”

Oh, but then, He got these 12 friends that helped him spread the Word because He was actually the son of God. One time He even fasted in the desert for 40 days. Then, on a Thursday night, He was in the garden with his friends and they all fell asleep and he was freaking out, and it was right after they all got their feet washed and had this huge dinner and He said Judas was going to be a traitor and Peter was going to deny Him. Then these soldiers came and arrested Him and Peter cut off this guy’s ear, but Jesus put it back.

Then, Jesus was put on trial and Pilate told the people either Jesus or Barabas, and they said release Barabas, so he did and Pilate was like wtf. So, Jesus died on the cross by being crucified to save us all from sin so we could go to heaven. Then, three days later he rose from the dead and fulfilled the scripture, but 40 days later He ascended back into heaven. Then, later He came back as the Holy Spirit on pentecost and enlightened his mother and the apostoles. 

Now He’s the focus of many faiths around the globe and has shaped human history and is the focus of me and like 60% of the world’s religious lives as Christians and me as a Catholic. 

The End.

Merry Christmas.

I RLLY HOPE YOU DIDN’T MEAN THE MEXICAN NAME J´ESUS OMG.