Conversation between my cousin and I:
Me: Maura, you cannot ask for a /boat/ for Christmas.
Me: Where the HELL would you put it!?
Maura: IN A DOCK.
Me: You live near no body of water. The closest is the Delaware River, which isn't in goood enough proximity to your house TO OWN A BOAT.
Maura: I'd just dock it down the shore.
Me: YOU DON'T HAVE A SHORE HOUSE TO DO THAT, YOU CAN'T DO IT AT A HOTEL.
Maura: ALRIGHT, WELL CAPTAIN HOOK DIDN'T HAVE ANY ISSUES.
Me: Neither do people on tumblr, but they don't sail by boat.